"Happiness Project" - Month One
As the focus for the first month, I've chosen 'Health and Vitality'; I've noticed that when I feel good, I'm more likely to be happy, and when I'm happy, I'm more likely to feel good, hence, focusing on the 'feel good' part of that equation seemed to make logical sense.
The goals I've chosen for this first thirty days are reasonably simple ones:
- Stretch (at least five minutes per day suggested)
- Get some rest (aiming for being in bed by 10:30)
- Take my vitamins
- Minimize visible clutter/tidy
- Aim to complete one 'nagging' project per week
The 'nagging project' also counts as 'reducing visible clutter'/'tidying' - the project last week was purchasing&completing the anniversary present for Wolf (more details after October 10th, wouldn't want him accidentally finding out about it early!), and this week was to replace all of the bedding in all of the gecko cages, and spot clean the snake tanks. (Mostly because I forgot about needing to complete one project per week, and these are the two big projects I've completed thus far, hahaha). This weekend, I'm tackling the laundry pile and the bed linens.
So far, I'm doing pretty good - a few blips early on, but things seem to be evening out quite nicely. I also purchased a business plan, and - while it's sitting in my inbox right now, without even having been looked at - it is at least there. Hooray!
Aright, that's enough on Month One for now...
Instead, I leave you with a (continually growing) list of
Secrets of Adulthood:
- Sometimes, all you need is a really good laugh.
- It IS okay to ask for help.
- Happiness doesn't always make you happy.
- It's alright to be corrected; this is how we learn.
- No one knows everything; if you did, you'd never grow.
- Don't kill the messenger.
- The things you do consistently matter a lot more than the things you do 'sometimes'.
- People remember the way you make them feel.
- Cold water and salt will help colors stay.
- Medication actually DOES relieve most symptoms.
- People usually are NOT thinking about you.
- Time takes time, and nothing changes if nothing changes.
- Actions speak louder than words, and words are important too.
- Over deliver.
- By doing a little bit each day, you can get a LOT accomplished.
- Bring a jacket.
- Most people actually like it when you call them, even if they aren't available to talk at the time.
- It's alright to be you.
- People really just want to be loved.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Redefining what it means to be 'Female'
Growing up, I was never one of those girls that dreamed of having her own children. My daydreams were of an adopted child, if anything - generally a son, whom, in more recent years, I decided I'd probably name Bear.
I've maintained, throughout the years, the position of, "I'm not having any kids," - in part as a defense mechanism to fend off the pressures of social norms, the fear of never finding someone I would consider having kids with, and because I've generally considered myself too selfish to really even think about having a child. (When I want to go on vacation, I want to be able to up and go, not have to worry about packing a diaper bag and having someone pepper me with questions while I'm trying to get a tan.) I'm afraid of the thing that I would imagine a lot of people are afraid of when considering having a child - being a horrible parent. I'm also afraid of the possibility of passing along something that I've spent my life with - epilepsy. No one really knows if this is hereditary or not, but those women who have epilepsy and give birth have been found to have a higher prevalence of children with epilepsy than those women who do not have it and give birth.
This being the case, I was shocked to learn how much it upset me when I found out that (according to what we know today), even with all other considerations aside, it would be incredibly risky for me to have children - something along the lines of a 33% chance of major complications. To me, that means that while giving birth is a choice, it's not much of one - if it were only myself that would have to live with the results should things go awry, maybe, but certainly not if it's going to affect the child.
This has left me with a lot of questions, and the biggest one for me is, "Well, then what's the f-cking point of being female?"
Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be a boy - as I grew up, I was able to reconcile my gender with it's evolutionary purpose (whether or not I was going to fulfill on it). When I found out that my body would likely kill a baby, it all began to feel a bit random.
Now, before you all go jumping the gun, I have NO intention of getting a sex-change operation, hahaha - I don't mind being a woman at this point in my life, I've grown out of the awkwardness of it - and, I have definitely been grappling with what it means to be 'female'.
I haven't come to many conclusions, except that I've begun to separate the term 'female' from the term 'woman'. While 'female' refers to my organs, 'woman' seems to encompass so much more. That is where I've been focusing my energy.
I love the quote, "The obstacle is the path," for this particular time in my life. It reminds me that while I may feel as though I'm climbing a mountain, I should remember that I'm climbing a mountain - look around and enjoy the view.
I am a teacher, I am a coach, I have hundreds of children. I surround myself with love - from my husband, to my parents and my brother, to my incredible friends.
In finding out that I 'can't' have my own kids, I've received yet another gift from the universe (and when I figure out what exactly that is, I'll be sure to let you know).
So, if there's anyone else out there that's going through the same thing, or anything similar, I hope that you know that you're not alone. I've thought quite a bit about whether to post this - it's a very personal thing, and I'm not exactly sure that the internet is the appropriate place for it. That said, knowing that maybe it will help someone is reason enough for me to put it out there, at least for the time being.
I've maintained, throughout the years, the position of, "I'm not having any kids," - in part as a defense mechanism to fend off the pressures of social norms, the fear of never finding someone I would consider having kids with, and because I've generally considered myself too selfish to really even think about having a child. (When I want to go on vacation, I want to be able to up and go, not have to worry about packing a diaper bag and having someone pepper me with questions while I'm trying to get a tan.) I'm afraid of the thing that I would imagine a lot of people are afraid of when considering having a child - being a horrible parent. I'm also afraid of the possibility of passing along something that I've spent my life with - epilepsy. No one really knows if this is hereditary or not, but those women who have epilepsy and give birth have been found to have a higher prevalence of children with epilepsy than those women who do not have it and give birth.
This being the case, I was shocked to learn how much it upset me when I found out that (according to what we know today), even with all other considerations aside, it would be incredibly risky for me to have children - something along the lines of a 33% chance of major complications. To me, that means that while giving birth is a choice, it's not much of one - if it were only myself that would have to live with the results should things go awry, maybe, but certainly not if it's going to affect the child.
This has left me with a lot of questions, and the biggest one for me is, "Well, then what's the f-cking point of being female?"
Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be a boy - as I grew up, I was able to reconcile my gender with it's evolutionary purpose (whether or not I was going to fulfill on it). When I found out that my body would likely kill a baby, it all began to feel a bit random.
Now, before you all go jumping the gun, I have NO intention of getting a sex-change operation, hahaha - I don't mind being a woman at this point in my life, I've grown out of the awkwardness of it - and, I have definitely been grappling with what it means to be 'female'.
I haven't come to many conclusions, except that I've begun to separate the term 'female' from the term 'woman'. While 'female' refers to my organs, 'woman' seems to encompass so much more. That is where I've been focusing my energy.
I love the quote, "The obstacle is the path," for this particular time in my life. It reminds me that while I may feel as though I'm climbing a mountain, I should remember that I'm climbing a mountain - look around and enjoy the view.
I am a teacher, I am a coach, I have hundreds of children. I surround myself with love - from my husband, to my parents and my brother, to my incredible friends.
In finding out that I 'can't' have my own kids, I've received yet another gift from the universe (and when I figure out what exactly that is, I'll be sure to let you know).
So, if there's anyone else out there that's going through the same thing, or anything similar, I hope that you know that you're not alone. I've thought quite a bit about whether to post this - it's a very personal thing, and I'm not exactly sure that the internet is the appropriate place for it. That said, knowing that maybe it will help someone is reason enough for me to put it out there, at least for the time being.
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