I started on this undertaking on November 4th, with approximately 4000 words already written (I used something that I had already started, but was still behind in word count compared to days - by the end of day four I needed to have 6668 words written in order to be on target for finishing on time). Today is November 7th and I am currently ahead of word count (by a negligible amount), clocking in with 11,980 words total. (That is approximately 29 full pages, single spaced.)
While I was debating what to write about (and having posted to Facebook to see if I could get some suggestions from friends), I had a number of very cool ideas thrown my way - one that seemed appropriate to be writing about in here, though, was "What is the first month of marriage /really/ like? Is it a love fest or is there a back story?"
Personally, my first month of marriage has definitely been 'interesting'. We'll start by discussing my allergy medications. I have really horrendous allergies, to who-knows-what - it starts with a post-nasal drip, and ends with pneumonia unless I keep things under control and stop the drip before it starts. Just before the wedding (about a week prior), the medication that I was on stopped working for some unknown reason - my body acclimated or something, who knows, I'm constantly having to rotate through medications to find one that will work again - and so I switched from Loratadine to Cetirizine Hydrochloride. For those of you that have never had anxiety/paranoia as a side effect to a medication, let me just explain it this way: If someone I trusted had told me that the government was bugging my house, I would have believed them. I had a variety of thoughts, from "My boss is going to fire me" all the way to "My husband is gay" - all of which I was absolutely CERTAIN of, with NO backing what-so-ever. The one saving grace to it is that I could at least see myself being ridiculously irrational. Being that I started taking it the week before the wedding, I hadn't noticed the paranoia so much - I'd chalked it up to wedding related stress. It took me until the middle of the third week of being married to finally get the heck off of that stuff, and start feeling more normal-ish. Thank goodness. Poor W was a huge sport and didn't give me a hard time at all about any of it, which is entirely to his credit - I was a nut.
The most noticeable change that I've seen with myself in regards to being married is the inexplicable sense of calm. Not from the lack of wedding planning and frenetic activity related to such, but more of an emotional sense. Dad put his finger on it exactly when he said that its like 'being grounded in the universe' - it gets rid of that sense of drift that I had as a single person (even in a relationship). I'm not sure what it comes from - the sense of being grounded - Dad suggested that maybe it was a sense that life is working out, having the answer to that question of 'Will I find someone who completes me?', knowing that someone is willing to promise, "Yes, I will be your best friend, period, forever," and legally bind themselves to that. I don't know. I just know that its brought an overwhelming sense of calm and peace, and helped me feel grounded in ways that I didn't know possible.
There's been some 'big' little stuff too - stuff that I'm not really comfortable disclosing on the internet because it's not about me, it only affects me. There's been financial stuff; who pays for what, how much do we each pay, where does it come from, what do we do with combined money vs. our separate accounts. There's been health stuff - things that can be scary if we let them, and frustrating 'what is' scenarios when taken from a more factual standpoints.
I think about it though, when we're spending time together - especially with W being as much older than me than he is - what are my memories of married life going to be? Right now, they're absolutely wonderful. I don't so much remember the stressful things as I do the moments where we're lying on the couch and W decides that out of the blue he's going to tickle me. I remember him waking me up at two in the morning when he came to bed (I go to bed earlier than he does, that took some getting used to), talking to me about the day and our roommate and things that were going on with life and me finally stopping him and saying, "Baby, I've got to get to sleep." I remember that in the morning, he had no recollection of any of that. I remember lying in bed with him one night, talking for fifteen minutes about absolutely ridiculous things - a conversation that would make so sense if you weren't the two of us. I'm sure that half of it wasn't even really in English. I remember stepping in pee on the bathroom floor after W had been in there before me half asleep, and being irritated, yes, but noticing that he'd taken the time to make sure to wipe the seat. I remember hiking around Yosemite, and sitting at dinner for hours in Mariposa just talking and cuddling and being the best friends that we absolutely are.
There's been a lot of stuff in being married, and we're bumping up already on our first month together, which has absolutely, 100% FLOWN by. All in all though, I highly recommend it. If you're with your best friend, go for it. You've got the world to gain.
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