Gush, Gush, Wedding Stuff

Went and got our engagement photos taken on Saturday; had an absolute blast. Center of attention? Check. In the photos rather than taking them? Check. With my man? Check. What more could a girl ask for? Really excited to see how they came out... Our photographers are the wonderful Robert and Karina Gillette - incredibly enjoyable, funny, lively people, who have been remarkably patient and helpful with everything, AND do fantastic work. If you're interested, you can check out their website here: http://www.robertgillette.us/

That photograph was posted by Karina, as part of her 365 project for the year, along with the following story, which I had relayed to her about the history of the ring:
"Today we photographed an engagement session with our new friends K and W. We had a really fun time with these two. My favorite moment was hearing about the awesome story about this beautiful ring. 100 years ago in 1910, W's grandparents were married with this ring. After W had proposed, and the wedding planning had begun, he went in to get the ring resized for K. The jeweler found a small inscription on the ring of the date of his grandparents wedding. With K & W's wedding already planned for 10-10-10, he discovered that his grandparents were married that same day 100 years earlier."

...Pretty neat, eh?

I have to admit, I did have a bit of a 'freak-out' moment during the photo shoot... W and I had been posed for a photo for a few moments, and I jokingly asked Karina if I could, "quit looking at this guy." W chuckled and jumped in with, "Not for the next thirty years."

At which point I had a silent spazz attack that looked a lot like this (insert mental conversation): "Holy crap. Thirty years?? I haven't even been ALIVE thirty years! Am I really qualified to make a promise like this??? To spend longer than I've even been alive with someone???"

It passed quickly enough, and it was still a little disconcerting... I spent the next day or so thinking about it, and once again going over things in my head. I have a really hard time with feeling 'good enough' for all this. It just amazes me, you know? I love my fiance - more than I ever dreamed possible, much less probable. He brings me so much joy and fulfillment, even on our worst of days... I can't imagine living life without him. When I am by myself, it's that feeling of being whole, separate, and unique... and still only half of something much greater. I read a conversation in a story once that took place between a grandmother and her grandson and the line that fit so well for me was this: 'Son, you might marry another woman, but you will never have another Wife.'

This is the way that I feel about W - he is my other half, my perfect compliment, the man put in this world to be my Husband. To know that someone I feel that way about, feels that way about me? It's... amazing. Beyond amazing.

Don't get me wrong, I know we're both human - we both do things that confuse or surprise or irritate the other one every once in a while, that's what being human is all about, those little differences - and at the same time, we're bonded by something that runs so much deeper than that.

"Love is capable of uniting living beings in such a way as to complete and fulfill them, for it alone takes them and joins them by what is deepest in themselves." -Teilhand De Chaardin

Unnnnghhfff.

I've been in a bit of a coma of recent, due to allergy-induced-coughing-hacking-dying-exhaustion. It's been interesting. I've sounded like Barry White since last Thursday... Makes me a real hit with the ladies, I must say. ;)

Tomorrow, W and I meet with the caterer to discuss prices, menu, etc. Hopefully it all goes well. The day after, we go to movies with friends. Saturday evening we have our engagement photo session - the weather looks like it should be pretty decent, so here's hoping it holds out. (Go us! Go!) Sunday we have our usual commitment in the city. The following Monday is Passover with the family, Wednesday night work meeting, Sunday Easter dinner.

Betty has been addressing and stuffing Save-The-Date envelopes, those should be (mostly) mailed by April 1st (hehe!) - there are still a few addresses to collect before the final ones go out, but as it stands, the majority should be sent out within the next week or so.

So. Much. Stuff.

To do, to change, to reassign, to figure out, to sort, to pack, to sell, to buy, to give away, to plan, to organize, to move, to settle, to reset, to fill out...

I didn't realize how much I had attached to my current name and address.

As it turns out, I've been me for my entire life. Go figure.

Nearly 24 years worth.

And now, it is time for medication and sleep.

New Beginnings

August of 2008. I was a university graduate and nationally ranked martial artist whose life - while highlighted with incredible love and opportunity - was absolutely, positively, heading face-first into the ground. Applying for a credit card, cycling the laundry, cleaning my room, making something to eat, spending time with my family... the littlest things seemed to be insurmountable challenges in my daily life. I simply could not do it, and the world was stacking up on me.

Some nineteen months later, what I can only describe as a 'miracle' ("an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause" - dictionary.com) has occurred.

I changed careers - I'm now working as a teacher, and I have been for a little over a year. I have established credit. I run my own small business on the side, breeding rare and exotic reptiles, and loving every minute of it. I've been paying my own rent for around 12 months - I don't remember exactly, maybe a little over, maybe a little under. My circle of friends has changed dramatically; while I still have some of my old friendships (you know, the really amazing people), I dropped contact with a lot of them, and started talking to new people. My relationship with my parents is phenomenal; we hang out, we have fun, we enjoy each others' company. I'm engaged to the most incredible man I know; he is my perfect partner, and I look forward to starting our life together in the fall.

Those are only a few of the changes that have occurred, ongoingly, over the course of the last year and a half.

In short, I've started to get it together.

...What do I do now?