Sunday, October 2, 2011

HP - Month Two

Well, September was a success! I did not meet all of my daily goals every day, and, I still definitely did more than I would have had I not been recording it. I have felt pretty good health wise (physically), and aside from having the typical allergy related stuff from the season, I've not caught anything going around from the new school year (yet). My flexibility got really good until I overdid it and pulled something in my leg, which required me to take a few days off from stretching, and, overall, I'm still more flexible than I was by a long shot. I also discovered that my body reacts very well to the endorphins released during the stretching time.  I did a pretty good job with the tidying, still not getting it done every day, but sure as heck a lot more than I would have otherwise.  I also noticed how much I really do leave things around the house, despite my prior notion that I didn't.  Additionally, I got a few 'nagging' projects done, though I managed to forget about doing those to some extent, since (I realized) I didn't write down a way to track them.

I'm a day behind in starting October; I'm excusing this due to October having 31 days, so really, I'll still get 30 days in... ;)

This month, being the month of my anniversary, is really going to be focused on the way that I relate to my husband. We've been married for a year (well, we will have been in as of October 10th), and it has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I am so blessed to be married to this man; he is an incredible husband and human being.  He is unconditionally supportive of my endeavors, kind, gentle, compassionate, and slow to complain or criticize (even when I most definitely deserve it). Me? Well, I'm sure I have a whole slew of positive attributes as well, and - what I notice - is that I don't always treat him like the best friend that he is.  So, this month is about reconnecting with the 'overly' nice, forgiving, rose-colored-glasses, before-we-knew-each-other partner that I know I can be.

This month's goals are as follows:
- One full week (seven days) of being SUPER nice to my husband.  Complaint? Bite your tongue. Criticism? Think twice. His turn to let the dogs out? Do it anyway.
- Write, and then read daily, a gratitude list about your partner. Continue to add things to the list as they appear.
- Listen. REALLY listen. Ask questions.
- Action item: What can I do to make life easier for Wolf today?

I figure I'll learn some important things here, primarily an awareness of my go-to way of being in the relationship and how that affects the way we interact.  Secondly, I'll see how an altering of that can influence his way of being, if it does at all.

Alright... Enough for now... WISH ME LUCK!!! :D

I LOVE YOU, WOLF!!!

Friday, September 9, 2011

HP - Month One

"Happiness Project" - Month One

 As the focus for the first month, I've chosen 'Health and Vitality'; I've noticed that when I feel good, I'm more likely to be happy, and when I'm happy, I'm more likely to feel good, hence, focusing on the 'feel good' part of that equation seemed to make logical sense.

 The goals I've chosen for this first thirty days are reasonably simple ones:
 - Stretch (at least five minutes per day suggested)
- Get some rest (aiming for being in bed by 10:30)
- Take my vitamins
- Minimize visible clutter/tidy
- Aim to complete one 'nagging' project per week

 The 'nagging project' also counts as 'reducing visible clutter'/'tidying' - the project last week was purchasing&completing the anniversary present for Wolf (more details after October 10th, wouldn't want him accidentally finding out about it early!), and this week was to replace all of the bedding in all of the gecko cages, and spot clean the snake tanks. (Mostly because I forgot about needing to complete one project per week, and these are the two big projects I've completed thus far, hahaha). This weekend, I'm tackling the laundry pile and the bed linens.

 So far, I'm doing pretty good - a few blips early on, but things seem to be evening out quite nicely. I also purchased a business plan, and - while it's sitting in my inbox right now, without even having been looked at - it is at least there. Hooray!

 Aright, that's enough on Month One for now...
 Instead, I leave you with a (continually growing) list of

  Secrets of Adulthood:
- Sometimes, all you need is a really good laugh.
- It IS okay to ask for help.
- Happiness doesn't always make you happy.
- It's alright to be corrected; this is how we learn.
- No one knows everything; if you did, you'd never grow.
- Don't kill the messenger.
- The things you do consistently matter a lot more than the things you do 'sometimes'.
- People remember the way you make them feel.
- Cold water and salt will help colors stay.
- Medication actually DOES relieve most symptoms.
- People usually are NOT thinking about you.
- Time takes time, and nothing changes if nothing changes.
- Actions speak louder than words, and words are important too.
- Over deliver.
- By doing a little bit each day, you can get a LOT accomplished.
- Bring a jacket.
- Most people actually like it when you call them, even if they aren't available to talk at the time.
- It's alright to be you.
- People really just want to be loved.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Redefining what it means to be 'Female'

Growing up, I was never one of those girls that dreamed of having her own children. My daydreams were of an adopted child, if anything - generally a son, whom, in more recent years, I decided I'd probably name Bear.

I've maintained, throughout the years, the position of, "I'm not having any kids," - in part as a defense mechanism to fend off the pressures of social norms, the fear of never finding someone I would consider having kids with, and because I've generally considered myself too selfish to really even think about having a child. (When I want to go on vacation, I want to be able to up and go, not have to worry about packing a diaper bag and having someone pepper me with questions while I'm trying to get a tan.) I'm afraid of the thing that I would imagine a lot of people are afraid of when considering having a child - being a horrible parent. I'm also afraid of the possibility of passing along something that I've spent my life with - epilepsy. No one really knows if this is hereditary or not, but those women who have epilepsy and give birth have been found to have a higher prevalence of children with epilepsy than those women who do not have it and give birth.

This being the case, I was shocked to learn how much it upset me when I found out that (according to what we know today), even with all other considerations aside, it would be incredibly risky for me to have children - something along the lines of a 33% chance of major complications. To me, that means that while giving birth is a choice, it's not much of one - if it were only myself that would have to live with the results should things go awry, maybe, but certainly not if it's going to affect the child.

This has left me with a lot of questions, and the biggest one for me is, "Well, then what's the f-cking point of being female?"

Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be a boy - as I grew up, I was able to reconcile my gender with it's evolutionary purpose (whether or not I was going to fulfill on it). When I found out that my body would likely kill a baby, it all began to feel a bit random.

Now, before you all go jumping the gun, I have NO intention of getting a sex-change operation, hahaha - I don't mind being a woman at this point in my life, I've grown out of the awkwardness of it - and, I have definitely been grappling with what it means to be 'female'.

I haven't come to many conclusions, except that I've begun to separate the term 'female' from the term 'woman'. While 'female' refers to my organs, 'woman' seems to encompass so much more. That is where I've been focusing my energy.

I love the quote, "The obstacle is the path," for this particular time in my life. It reminds me that while I may feel as though I'm climbing a mountain, I should remember that I'm climbing a mountain - look around and enjoy the view.

I am a teacher, I am a coach, I have hundreds of children. I surround myself with love - from my husband, to my parents and my brother, to my incredible friends.

In finding out that I 'can't' have my own kids, I've received yet another gift from the universe (and when I figure out what exactly that is, I'll be sure to let you know).

So, if there's anyone else out there that's going through the same thing, or anything similar, I hope that you know that you're not alone. I've thought quite a bit about whether to post this - it's a very personal thing, and I'm not exactly sure that the internet is the appropriate place for it. That said, knowing that maybe it will help someone is reason enough for me to put it out there, at least for the time being.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

12 Months of Excellence - Reboot

I stopped updating about the results of my 12 Months of Excellence project a few months ago - I made it into July before it really stopped, and it was thrown way off track by the death of my dog of 14 years, Shavva.

The grieving process has sufficiently progressed, at this point, and I'm ready to get back on the horse. I'll be making some slight adjustments this time, as well - for one, I've got most of my months laid out in advance, so I don't really need to consider what I'll be working on in the following month while I'm in the middle of the current one. Secondly, I'm going to be printing up a chart for each month, which will allow me to record how I feel I did in each category for each day. This jives well with the idea that we are more likely to do those things we keep track of. I am also going to be posting my results in a public forum at the end of each month, which should also assist in the area of keeping myself accountable. I am also transitioning to a more cohesive approach, rather than making each month stand completely alone in its efforts.

The effect, over the course of the year, should be a cumulative one; slight adjustments each month, added together to make a large difference. Some of the goals for each month aren't daily practices, nor do I think that I will be able to do each 'daily' practice every day (though, who knows, I might). I am more expecting to do things to the best of my ability on each given day, and congratulate myself for whatever good I do.

Progress, not perfection.

Wish me luck!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

12 Months of Excellence - March

March, for me, is to be a month of completion.

So far, I have:

-Finished the drawing of the female flamingo for the bathroom
-Completed the first run through of the novel (Still gotta enter changes into the computer)
- Made some headway on a letter to myself I've been working on
- Wrapped up the entry for February
- Put a post out to start getting the Crested Geckos sold
- Written some spoken word pieces
- Now, I will have blogged about my intent for March
- Gained some more closure with an incident that occurred a few years ago; this took the form of writing, reading, and recording a spoken word piece - you can view it below:


Wednesday, March 2, 2011

So it was really 16 days...

February 8th - A short love note, including a list of things I love about him (I think I got to 60 before my lunch break was over).

Materials: Pen, Paper

Cost: $0.00

Rating: A

He actually hasn't read the note yet; it's still sitting in his pocket, to the best of my knowledge. I, however, enjoyed writing it - it helped me re-presence myself to all of the things that I love about my husband. It's sweet, and he can keep it in his wallet for future reference, in case he (like myself) has a bad day and ever wonders what the other person sees in them. In that sense, it's useful. While lacking in 'dramatic visual impact', this one has a subtler pull, and one that you can carry quietly in your mind.



February 9th - Boxes full of 'Kiss' coupons

Materials: Two small gift boxes (the kind you'd receive jewelry in), and two bags of Hershey's Kisses

Cost: $5.00

Rating: A

This took a little bit of time, but not too long; I had to /carefully/ remove the little strips of paper that come sticking out of the Kisses, and then (because I can't eat sugar), I had to re-wrap the Kisses. For those less diet restricted, eating them would probably save some time. Then, I took all the little strips of paper and filled the gift boxes with them, and let him know that each paper was 'redeemable for a kiss'. Cute, visually appealing (while not dramatic), and not too time or energy consuming - plus, now we have candy in the house.



February 10th - Home Made 'Love Coupons'

Materials: Pen and a pad of paper

Cost: $0.00

Rating: A

Quick, easy, and he's already redeemed one of them (a coupon redeemable for a full day of me wearing an article of pink clothing). Lacking in visual impact, but they have practical application, are VERY easy to personalize, and you can make them as complex or simple as you like, fun, flirty, sexy - anything goes!



February 11th - K<3 W Fuse Bead Decoration

Materials: Fuse beads and an iron

Cost: $0.00

Rating: B-

Already had the supplies from a project at work; this took forever and broke within 24 hours. Lot of potential, but too time consuming and not useful enough for my tastes, hence the B-.



February 12th - Brought Cookies To His Work

Materials: Cookie mix, eggs, margarine, stove, some kitchen supplies (bowl, spoons, paper plates, saran-wrap), red curling ribbon - plus someone to drive me down and back

Cost: Approximately $6.00

Rating: A+

Again, this really played to Wolf's love of overly obvious shows of affection - everyone at work gets to enjoy the cookies (Who doesn't love cookies?!?), he gets to receive them in front of his whole crew of coworkers, and I get to be the 'cool wife'. Additionally, Wolf (secretly) loves when I do domestic stuff, especially since its so unlike me, and since this involved baking...Again, quick, easy, and highly visible. Definitely a keeper.



February 13th - Tea, a Couple More Cookies, and a Card

Materials: Tea, kettle, card, pen, saran-wrap, red curling ribbon, and some 'extra' cookies from a batch I made for my dad

Cost: $0.00

Rating: A

Technically, this cost a couple dollars for the cookies I made for my dad, but since I was making those for someone else anyway, I'm not counting that into the cost. Wolf was sick (had been for a while, actually, and I was getting to be pretty disease-ridden myself), so I made him some tea I'd found that was really good, wrapped up a couple more cookies, and gave him a card I'd got for free with a purchase from Frederick's



February 14th - Shirt, DVD, and Letters

Materials: Computer, printer, envelopes, wrapping paper, shirt, DVD, and some more of that red curling ribbon

Cost: $25

Rating: A+

I knew that Wolf had been wanting a black dress shirt for a while, so I went to the store and found one of those. We both loved the movie Death At A Funeral, so I picked that up for him as well (on sale!). Then, I went through and printed up a bunch of little journal entries that I had written throughout the course of our dating/engagement career, and folded them up inside envelopes, titled them with whatever the topic was ('First time my mom complimented you', etc.) Happy Valentines Day!



Between getting sick and running low on ideas, I cut things short and ended on Valentines day. I had fun, and thoroughly recommend trying something like this yourself for your sweetheart!



Total days: 16

Total cost: $51.00

Monday, February 7, 2011

Flirting Month Continues

February 3rd - A bunch of Stars
Materials: Strips of origami paper for folding stars, a gift bag, and some napkins to help fill up the bottom of the bag.
Cost: $0.00 (Supplies were donated by a friend of mine.)
Rating: B+
This was super cute, but lacking in visual impact as well as practicality. I folded a bunch of little origami stars, and gave them to him, "My favorite Star Person" (he's Lakota, and they call themselves the Star People). Folding the stars took quite a bit of time, and while I did something on the order of 150+ of them, they not even half filled the smallest little gift bag I could find.

February 4th - Goldfish Love Note
Materials: Paper, Watercolor Paint, Elmers Glue, and one Googly Eye
Cost: $0.00 (Was doing a project with the kids at work, and just made one as well, then asked if I could bring it home.)
Rating: B
With the exception of drying time, this was very quick, and particularly easy. I already had the stencil that I was going to use for the kids project, and so I just made one as well. (I'll provide photos later, and maybe a stencil&directions depending on demand - you can probably just find it on the internet.) On the back, I wrote a cheesy love note, and voila. Neat looking, and pretty useless.

February 5th - IT'S A TWO-FER! Ironed some of his shirts (9 of them, to be precise), and had flowers 'delivered' to him at work.
Materials: Iron, Spray Bottle, Flowers, Vase, Card, and a willing friend
Cost: Approximately $15 (For the flowers and card - borrowed the vase and a friend 'delivered' the flowers)
Rating: A+
Wolf's penchant for over-the-top romanticism really helped make this one a hit. Not only did he get flowers, he got them at work, where EVERYONE could see that he was getting flowers delivered. Wolf loves this sort of attention, so he was talking about this all weekend. Grade A+ for impact, and it got both of us kudos from all of his coworkers - I get to be the awesome wife, he gets to have the awesome wife. It's a win-win. The ironing of the shirts, while time consuming, was also very useful, and he appreciated that as well.

February 6th - Garage Door Love Note
Materials: Paper, Pen, Painting Tape
Cost: $0.00 (Had everything we needed already)
Rating: A+
For this one, I wrote one letter on each piece of paper (large enough to be read from the street), then taped the pieces of paper across the outside of our garage door. Quick, easy, with high visual impact, and it plays right into his love of overly showy gestures.

February 7th - VS Catalog
Materials: Pen, Post-it Note, Victoria's Secret Catalog
Cost: $0.00 (They give the catalog away free at the store, and the other stuff I had)
Rating: A
This one gets an A rating because of it's potential. The VS Catalog has everything from every day wear (shirts, jeans, etc) to lingerie - basically, I wrote a note that invited him to go through and rate the outfits, 'Just for future reference.' Even if he never gets around to it, its fun and flirty, took all of 30 seconds to put together, and gets the mind to work.

Tomorrow: A short love note, including a list of things I love about him.